This is my bike. I’ve never been much of a anthromorphisizer so I’ve never managed to stick with a name for him. He feels like a steed but I don’t think he’s a Horse. He’s not like a proper pack animal either, so Ox and Camel are right out. Maybe a burro, or like a llama.

El Burro is a circa-2011 Cube Acid, this one, specifically. Cube is a European brand and my dad bought me this bike when my family lived in Belgium. I think it was my first (and last, lol) adult-sized bike. My dad is a huge cyclist and we used to do a lot of mountain and gravel biking together. He’s still putting in like hundreds of miles daily doing long distance gravel rides with his biker gang.

I’ve fallen off mountain biking and live in the city now, so I mostly use El Burro to get around, run errands, pick up groceries, etc. Cycling is often the optimal way to get around the Boston metro area - you can often beat public transit (depending on where you’re going). It’s roughly on-par with car times, minus the hunt for parking. As you can see in the cover image, I’ve added a rack, a kick stand, and hybrid tires to fit this use case.

El Burro is a really really nice bike that’s served me well for like half of my entire life and will probably keep serving me into the distant future. At the same time, I get annoyed with it sometimes. It’s very extra in ways that aren’t useful to me. I don’t really need shocks or twenty-one speeds, maintaining the front derailleur is a pain in the ass, I can’t maintain the hydraulic brakes myself at all, and the frame is like physically girthy in a way that makes it incompatible with a lot of bike parking and car racks. The bar ends are pointless and I’d prefer a more upright sitting position. I’m also just kind of self conscious of the sporty Cube branding. Being amongst everyone’s commuter and cargo bikes makes me feel like kind of a doofus sometimes. That’s maybe the core of my dissatisfaction, I hate feeling like I stand out.

To be fair, a lot of this stuff like the handlebar position is fixable and not like actively a problem. The aluminum frame is light which is good for hills, the shocks are really helpful with potholes and tree roots, and being able to shift into a super-low gear is great for going pedestrian-speed if the multi-use path is busy or I need to go on the sidewalk for some reason. Biking in the Boston area is a lot like mountain biking in some ways. But, I’ve started exploring future bike options so that I know what else is out there.

I’ve always thought cargo bikes were really cool and I’m enchanted by the idea of carrying a bunch of stuff or even people on my bike. I occasionally bike with a heavy brass instrument which isn’t ideal for a variety of reasons, so it’d be great to get those off my back and onto the bike itself. I think a full-size cargo bike would be too much - I don’t have kids to shuttle around and my household isn’t in a position where I can fully ditch the car (yet). So, I started looking at smaller bikes that are built for carrying stuff but that are still maneuverable.

I think my top selection would be a MONoPOLE, out of Switzerland. I really dig the mostly conventional bike size but with a ton of cargo capacity right over the front wheel where you can keep an eye on it. You can get it with a gearbox and/or a belt which is super sexy (and costs extra). It starts at about $4,500.

The Omnium Mini-Max is also really fun. These guys are from Denmark. Similar story to the MONoPOLE, also optional sold with a belt and gearbox, and with a similar form-factor. There’s also a Mini variant which has a smaller front cargo rack but is shaped and controls even more like a normal bike. The base model is a bit long for me, I think. The Mini-Max and the Mini start at about $3,600 and $2,800 respectively.

The third European option is the French Petit Porteur. This guy is basically just a BMX with a cargo rack built into the frame. This guy is a bit more bare-bones starts at about $1,500.

The core issue with all of these is that importing them to the USA is expensive on top of the high sale price. They also sell the frames separately for cheaper, so you can just sort of build your own bike however you want. I think the ideal move would be to put together a parts list and have my local bike shop get it all for me to assemble.

The closest domestic equivalent to the above would be the Big Dummy from Surly, which is $2,700. It’s more of a conventional cargo bike with a long tail. It might be too mountain-bikey for my needs.

If you pointed a gun at me and told me to get a cargo bike tomorrow, I’d go to the nearest bike shop and order a Tern Short Haul. The short haul basically has everything I want: just a conventional city bike with an upright riding posture and increased cargo capacity. It’s the cheapest option of all of the above at around $1,000, but that’s still 1,000 whole dollars, and it’s just as chunky and El Burro is.

I haven’t really been looking at e-bikes. They’re cool but I kind of like moving under my own power. If I was replacing my car or if I needed to get to stuff by bike way more frequently I would definitely look into those to save my energy/time/sweat. All of the above bikes have electric equivalents or can be electrified.

Now, do I want a new bike $1,000 much? To circle back: do I actually need all this cargo capacity? As I said, the only thing I currently struggle to transport are brass instruments, and the issue with carrying a trombone or euphonium on your bike is more the wacko shape of the thing and not the actual weight. My main concern is securing them safely. I’m not sure that any of the above bikes would solve this problem by themselves because the length of the instruments would extend off of them regardless. I’d need something with a huge bucket or cargo bay like an Urban Arrow or a Bullitt if I wanted them to be fully secure within the frame of the bike, and those are just too much for my needs and taste.

So, I’m mostly putting my cargo bike dreams to rest for now. So, the question becomes, as I keep riding El Burro, are there ways I can address my greivances?

Mundo Music Gear out of the UK makes a product called the Air Pannier. It’s basically a net and a series of straps which is designed to help you carry large unwieldy objects on your bike in an upright configuration. Their promo material shows them carrying a guitar, congas, a cello, and even a surfboard! So I think this is the real way to go for instrument transportation regardless of the bike I’m riding. Plus it’s a fraction of the price at $60 (plus $40 shipping, thanks Mr. President).

As for the upright posture problem, I could probably replace the handlebars with something like this from Jones. They’re designed for touring but like, whatever, as long as the brakes and shifters fit in a safe position.

As for the paint job and the shocks, there isn’t much to be done about that and I think I just need to get over myself. That, or go nuts with stickers.

While a shiny new bike would be cool, I am attached to El Burro and it’s nice to be so familiar with a machine that I’ve been riding for so long. Ship-of-Theseus-ing the thing to fit my needs has it’s own allure. I’ll follow up with my findings and reviews if I actually do any of this stuff.